Europendence

many of us Americans are familiar with the common stereotype that European culture is "higher" "more refined" and "better" than that of America's. However, upon my ninth day of my near 180 day stay in the beautiful, hot sticky, and debaucherus city of Barcelona, Spain I came across a rather contrary discovery.
I was perusing through el raval, a seedy seemingly endless maze of narrow streets, boutiques, museums, and passers by when I began to realize all of the "hip" clothing stores selling (to my great dismay) obnoxiously colored Nike dunks. I thought to myself, "what the fuck is this 2007 or something?"
Then I went to a record store, "inter-pop" (international pop music) was their biggest section, and guess what it had?!!! David Bowie, Pink Floyd, (7) Lynard Skynard Albums, Abba, Madonna, and the list goes horribly on. Why was it that the 20 x 3 foot main display was all American music and then a 2 x 2 wooden box hidden behind the cashier contained the native Catalonian music.
It only got worse......I went strolling through three guitar stores, guess what brands they worship? Yup, all American ones. Rather odd. After correcting (which was, after a week and a half of being brutally tortured by Spaniards by my linguistic errors, OH SO ENJOYABLE) the "salesperson" on the pronunciation of humming bird, from whoooooommmmmeng beeeiiird, I promptly said thank you and left. Scratch that, I "peaced the fuck out".

I then had an epiphany and a great one at that, amongst the pain of walking, the sweltering sun, and the pangs of hunger, that maybe, just maybe American culture might be something to be reckoned with.

For starters, American's are known as "ugly" and "fat" because quite honestly we consume the most, and thus need the most natural resources, but the really terrible, grim reality is that we can.


And why is that you may ask?



Oh well, remember the 20th century? Ah yes, the "World Wars". But let us first remind ourselves who started them. America? Cuba? Taliban Terrorist fraternities? no, EUROPEANS. So Europe(ans) started both world Wars, and guess what, us Americans came out on top, cause they needed us good ole' farming boys to whoop the asses of those nasty jerries that seemed to so clandestinely infiltrate and destroy half of the "most civilized" part of the world (western Europe).

So we emerged as a World Power, and now were gangsters of love, oil, money, greed, wealth, modern culture, and fame. But its just a little more complicated than that. Why is it that American movies, music, and celebrities all translate over seas, but yet we rarely ever hear of any Spanish, French, German, or Italian pop-culture on our side of the pond?

I am not sure yet, but I think that its because despite the stereotypes America has a very cohesive media-centric culture, that is easily viewed via the internet, movies, and (everyone knows) illegally obtaining music. So next time one of your rather snooty compatriots mentions they're "French" handbag, or Italian handmade leather space-age technology boots, snicker into the air with the highest of highest brows my friends, I have deemed the teenage years of the new millennium that of



EUROPENDENCE



Its time we start to realize that the intensely egotistical, proud, and pretentious value sets of "high brow" culture (be it European, or Hamptonesque American) are the very same values that perpetuate intolerance, bigotry, and hate throughout the world. As American's we should know that we are the bosses of our territory, but there is a whole big bad world out there, and to many a hicks greatest horror, Budwieser may not be the "greatest beer to ever grace the Earth with its presence"

My fellow compatriots, I ask you to get out there, live your lives, and never be ashamed of where you were born, whether it was the soils of kings of past, or on the back of a greyhound bus headed for Alabama.





Jose Santa Anna Maria Luiz